Volume 1 Chapter 67-2 Servant, Broke Out in a Cold Sweat
"Yes, that's right."
I answered that while gently pressing my chest.
Since the day I foolishly fell for Lady, my heart aches terribly whenever discussions about her engagement come up.
I had been under the impression that I would always be by her side, so just the thought of another man beside her makes me jealous.
I was merely a shield.
"Ellie is called the best stone diviner in this country, you know?"
"I believe that's something to be very proud of."
"Indeed."
I truly believe that.
If it's Lady, I think she could become the finest stone diviner in the country.
"I just can't give up, you know?"
...Well, that's for me to hear.
"Rolus can't give up either, right?"
"...What?"
"You look so miserable every day, it makes me feel sorry for you."
"That's not..."
It is true, though.
It is true, but it doesn't mean I can't give up.
I have no choice but to give up, even if I can't.
"Having something you can't give up is quite painful, isn't it?"
"...Well, yes."
It's painful, hurtful, sad, and lonely; that's truly how I feel.
"Sometimes it's necessary to endure in silence, but just that alone can break you."
"Huh...?"
"In my profession, I often see people in pain, and right now, you are exactly in that state. That's why I brought you here before this crystal. Speaking your current feelings toward the crystal will purify them."
I wonder if I had been wearing such an obvious expression every day.
Certainly, when I wasn't working, I would worry and feel pain over thoughts of Lady.
Even so, I thought I was hiding it well.
"But even if you get purified, it won't solve anything. And right now, without Ellie, the only person you trust, you can't break down."
"...Even without breaking down, I'll eventually bounce back."
As I murmured that, the teacher lady's mouth moved to say "Impossible."
Impossible, huh.
"Because you all, in truth, cannot live separately."
"...Huh?"
"Oh dear, it's already this late. I have one more thing to ask of Rolus; is that alright?"
"Y-yes."
──"Aren't you going to tell me the meaning of the words you just said?"
It was a phrase that I was intensely curious about.
"There's a spring on the right side as you leave the cave. I want you to polish this crystal with that spring water."
"Okay."
"This crystal can purify itself, but polishing it with clean water increases both the speed and power of the purification."
"I see."
"So please do it for me. I have to go now because my next customer is coming."
I just said, 'Good luck,' and the teacher lady left.
A busy person indeed.
I was dazed for a moment, but then I snapped back to reality and quietly left the cave.
To find the spring water on the right side after exiting the cave.
"Is this it?"
The spring water was crystal clear and very beautiful.
It was incredibly cold, though.
There was a bucket and a soft cloth nearby, so I guessed this was for polishing.
That crystal must have absorbed the bad things I give off, so I need to polish it quickly.
I carefully polished the crystal, wondering how much pressure was okay.
The more I looked at it, the more beautiful the crystal became.
She had said that if I voiced my feelings towards the crystal, it would purify me, but is that really true?
If it is, then if I say it out loud here, will I feel relieved?
Can I find peace after fleeing my role as a shield?
After a moment of struggle, I opened my mouth slightly.
"It's painful, it's hard, it's sad, and it's lonely... I've always felt lonely without my Lady by my side. If possible, I want to see her once more. I never want to part again."
If this feeling can be purified, will I be able to forget my Lady?
During dinner that day, I heard shocking words from the teacher lady.
"Rolus, did you polish that crystal?"
"Yes."
"Good, thank you."
"You're welcome."
"By the way, I forgot to mention at that time, but that crystal holds quite a bit of magical power."
"Is that so."
I couldn't feel anything, perhaps because I had no magical power myself.
"And you know, if you make a wish to that crystal, it will grant it."
"Huh?"
What did you say?
"Keep it a secret from others. If everyone knows it can grant wishes, they'll all flock to it."
"Y-yes."
What did I say to that crystal?
What would I say to that crystal?
Did I just spill my current feelings?
No, I feel like it was more than that.
Was that a wish?
Was it deemed a wish?
Perhaps I've done something outrageous; I've been sleepless thinking that.
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