Volume 2 Chapter 19 Report (Report, Inform, Consult)
"You... seriously, how are you screwing up even as 'Yuki Takeru'?"
I was currently bowing like a guilty golden retriever in front of Sakurako-tan in the guild master's office.
"Look, okay! I heard it was just an easy job—swap a magic stone, go home, maybe grab a burger—"
"Shut up."
THWACK!
Sakurako-tan smacked me with a staff that screamed wise elf elder vibes.
...Which made sense, since, y'know, she was one.
"OW! What was that for?!"
"Haaah..." Sakurako-tan sighed like she aged another century dealing with me. "It's obviously suspicious for some total newbie—who just debuted today—to waltz in with a Middle Floors Boss stone!"
"Huh? I thought the Middle Floors were, like... chill?"
THWACK!
"OW! Okay, okay—geez! Chill with the staff abuse!"
"That's the point. It's supposed to hurt. Maybe it'll knock some common sense into you!"
"...Grrrr."
"No. Not 'grrr.' Don't growl at me like a stray dog. Haaah..." She massaged her temples. "Even the receptionist was shocked. Eyes wide. Total anime face."
"Y-yeah... that tracks."
Yup. That reaction was kinda my bad.
"Ugh... well, at least I caught this early. Should keep it from turning into a massive guild-wide scandal."
"Hmm? That... sounds like a flag."
"Stop."
THWACK!
---
"Anyway," Sakurako-tan squinted at me like I was a math problem that offended her, "how did you not raise suspicions with your friends after curb-stomping an Upper Floors Boss on your first day?"
"Well, uh... I'm just really good at covering things up?"
"...(stare)"
"W-What's with that look?! Stop scanning me like I'm malware!"
"...Did you actually pull that off?"
"O-Of course! I faked my level, tweaked my status to look normal—it was genius! Neither of them even blinked!"
"...Hmm."
"I'm telling you, it worked!"
"...Really?"
"YES!"
"...Fine. I'll tentatively believe you. But even with your 'stellar deception,' it's still suspicious as hell to claim you downed a Body-Hardened Goblin Knight with just level 7 Dual Wielding. Right?"
"Oh, that's easy! I told them I chugged a 'Trans Potion' that, like, quadrupled my stats! Plus, I said Sagawa drank one too! ...Oh, and did you know, Sakurako-tan? Nowadays, the potion's side effects become actual skills! Cool, right—uh, wait—"
Sakurako-tan froze. Her face went from mildly annoyed to full boss fight mode.
"Uh-oh."
"What. Did. You. Just. Say?"
"I—uh—I worked really hard to beat that Goblin Knight—"
"That's not what I'm asking!! You said 'Trans Potion,' didn't you?! THE Trans Potion from the other world?!"
"...Y-yeah?"
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
GUHHH!!
She teleported into my personal space using 'Jumper' and palmed my solar plexus. Hard.
Felt like my soul took a field trip out of my body.
---
"I cannot believe you used that Trans Potion... What kind of brain cell shortage leads to that decision?!"
"I'm sooorryyyy..."
I was now sitting in seiza. Knees screaming. Regret levels: MAX.
"Sigh..." Sakurako-tan looked like she needed a drink and a vacation—possibly at the same time. "Where the hell did you even get that thing...?"
As I tried to not die from shame, she suddenly perked up.
"Wait. Hold on a sec."
"Uh... yeah?"
"Earlier, you said the potion's side effects... become skills now?"
"Y-Yeah?"
"Explain. All of it."
So I did. And by the end—
"Hmm... if that's true... that potion could actually be... useful."
Wait—what?! Plot twist?!
"RIGHT?!" I jumped on that like it was a life raft. "I mean, yeah, side effects used to be total garbage, but now? Free skills, baby!"
"...Still. We don't have enough data. What if the next person grows, like... tentacles or something?"
"Okay, valid concern. But think about it! Worse side effects = stronger skills! High-risk, high-reward! Seekers would totally go for that!"
"...Hmph. I can't deny the logic."
Yessss! Victory dance—mentally, anyway.
But then... Sakurako's eyes got this glint. Like a kid realizing cookies were back on the menu.
"If possible... I'd like to test it myself..." she muttered.
Oh no. Oh no no no. Two mad scientists were just born.
"And hey," she added, "I might be able to heal side effects with my magic."
"Wait, really? Like with your dark attribute stuff?"
"Yeah. Special grade. I could probably fix most mental side effects... theoretically."
"And, uh... physical ones?"
"Meh, maybe? Light attribute healing's divine grade, sooo... fingers crossed?"
"...Super reassuring."
"Look, nobody in the other world used the potion because of the risks, okay?"
"Yeah, no kidding."
"...Still," she mused, "you with special grade dark and divine grade light attributes... That's kinda insane."
"Ehh, I don't think it's that impressive."
(...So that's why you keep screwing up. Makes sense now.)
"Huh? Did you just say something?"
"Nope. Nothing at all."
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