Chapter 157 Do Not Forget the Heart of Fear
Just a moment ago, the knight's sword in my hand went flying, drawing a spinning arc high into the air.
It shot up with such force, it looked like it might get swallowed by the blue sky.
Of course, it didn't really become part of the blue sky; it slammed right into the ground with a thud.
I collapsed right there, having witnessed that graceful landing.
"Your footwork is not bad, but your swing needs work. Speed is good, but don't loosen your grip."
"Tch..."
The one-eyed captain's relentless criticism had me swallowing my frustration and hanging my head.
I had gotten creative to catch up with speed, and ended up sending my sword flying into the air.
I couldn't argue with that.
"Damn it."
"Don't fall apart. Your spirit to increase your skills is good. Focus on finding value in defeat."
"I know that."
"Then get up quickly."
"Yeah."
At Captain Shidou's shout, I sprang to my feet.
I deliberately pulled the sword out with my still-tingling dominant hand, and the captain's eyebrows shot up even higher.
The fierce instructor was fired up.
But I couldn't stay silent either.
I was tired of just taking hits.
(Yay, this is your 7th loss today! Hehe, Master needs me to lend a hand, doesn't he?)
(Grr... damn it, shut up.)
(Nuu☆)
Funny how the one I want to shut up the most is the most talkative.
Seriously, cut it out.
Full throttle teasing.
Ms. Ruthless seems to be in top form again today.
Well, during Captain Shidou's teaching sessions, which have become a habit lately, it's always like this.
It all started about a month ago when I lost to Zetsu and Iggy.
If it weren't for Shura's help, who knows what would have happened.
It was frustrating.
Honestly... even though I got a protagonist's special power-up event, I felt like a total failure.
I should have won there; it's such a lie.
I made the basic mistake of running out of stamina, for crying out loud.
The role of saving the day was taken over by my rival Shura, and now I was left with nothing.
Of course, I'm thankful to Shura, but I was overwhelmed by even more frustration.
I'm sure the real Hiiro could have won.
But my mistake twisted that outcome.
That's unforgivable.
So, I begged Captain Shidou.
I asked him to teach me the sword, the skills──the way to fight.
I wanted him to make me stronger.
"Don't try to sneak in easily. Always keep part of your mind alert. The opponent might fake surprise... like this."
"Gwah!"
(Yes, 8th time! Almost hit double digits, keep it up, Master!)
(Y-you demon! Devil! Ruthless!)
(Haha! Your own fault, Master!)
So, the captain responded to my passion, but told me not to use Ruthless during training.
He said it's easier to learn if I stay natural.
I agreed since I'm the one being taught, but Ruthless sulked.
Now, as you can see, it's just trolling me nonstop.
Hey, it's not my fault.
I can't help but cry being the one who suffers the most.
Still,
this hands-on correction during practice fits me well.
The captain's criticism is harsh and unforgiving, but it shows he's really paying attention to me.
Since a month ago, an hour every morning of training.
I still get beaten badly, but I love this time.
It feels like I finally have a proper master.
So, I ended up asking him.
"Oi, Captain."
"Hmm? What's up?"
"You think I've got talent?"
"...Talent, huh?"
Without sugarcoating, the captain rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
"There's something bright there. Rough around the edges, though."
"Talent for martial arts?"
"...What do you want to say?"
"Licking Shadow says my talent's for killing people."
"!"
I don't want to admit it, so I say it like it's not about me.
But the captain's one-eyed gaze suddenly widened.
His reaction clearly showed he couldn't deny it.
"Yeah. Even when I ain't tryin' to kill, my strikes still hit all the weak points. Still gives people the chills."
"...Without the intent to kill, huh?"
"Exactly."
In other words, unknowingly.
That woman, Zetsu, was completely wild, but she also had sharp insight.
"Do you remember the entrance exam?"
"...!"
"Back then, the only 2 people who faced me were the ones I thought were strong. They were true fighters. I even lost to them. Anyone who denies that is crazy. But Merifar... I was scared of you because I couldn't beat you. Now, you probably understand what that means, right?"
"...Scared, huh."
What I remember most is when I was training in martial arts.
(...Yeah, it was scary.)
I wanted to be strong enough to protect someone, like a hero.
That's why I took in a child who had a hidden danger inside.
From a teacher's point of view, feeling fear was natural.
Thinking back, I rarely got to spar with other students.
Instead, I often trained directly with the assistant instructor.
I was desperate to get stronger, so even if I had doubts, I never asked why.
It was easier for me to train with the assistant instructor than with other students.
Maybe I even thought I was being favored.
But really, it was probably to stop me from causing an accident.
Someday, I might accidentally kill someone with a careless strike.
'Atami. You have no talent for martial arts.'
I never understood why the assistant instructor said it so awkwardly.
Maybe he just wasn't good at explaining.
Or maybe he wanted to write me off by making me think I had no talent.
Or maybe, back then, it was too dangerous to tell me the truth straight.
I don't know.
And I'll probably never find out.
"...A starving wolf. A hero. Or maybe just some psycho."
"Huh?"
"Nothin'. Just figured maybe I'm a bit of a coward too."
Captain said nothing about the 3 things I quietly mentioned.
He gently touched the eyepatch covering one eye.
Really, just a soft touch.
That fragile gesture didn't fit the strong man, making him seem almost delicate.
In an instant, that feeling vanished like a dream, and before I knew it, the captain stood tall and proud, stepping closer to me.
"Merifar."
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