Chapter 69 The Beastgirl's Heart Door - Part Ii
The day after I sent the silver-haired girl away, she didn't come to my room at the usual time.
Well, it's only natural, considering I almost hurt her badly, and then I coldly pushed her away without apologizing.
...That's what I tell myself, but a vague feeling of unease stirs within me.
I catch myself glancing at the door, hoping she'll come soon.
"...How stupid of me."
I bury my face in the bed, self-mockingly.
After saying whatever I wanted and pushing her away, it's pathetic that I can't stop thinking about her now that she's not here.
"I'm just going back to my country to die... It doesn't matter if she's here or not."
I mutter to myself, trying to convince myself.
The only reason I'm still alive is because if I committed suicide here, it would cause trouble for the people of the Ortria Kingdom who are trying to help me and send me back to my country.
Once I'm back in my country, alone, I'll die anyway.
It's the same as being alone now.
So, in 4 more days... I want to get back to my country quickly──
The more I think about it, the longer each day feels.
These past 2 days seemed to pass by in an instant... I thought, as I slam my head against the pillow.
The fact that time flew by when she was here... It's as if I enjoyed listening to her stories, which is ridiculous.
That's impossible.
As I was brooding, I suddenly noticed a cookie lying next to the bed.
The one she made and brought to me... the one I rejected and ruined. With trepidation, I reached out and brought it to my mouth.
"It's... awful..."
The taste was truly terrible.
With those limbs, I doubt she could have made it herself, so did she have someone else make it for her... perhaps the red-haired girl?
It was not at all delicious, not even as a compliment.
"...It's... awful..."
Yet, I kept picking up the fallen cookies and putting them in my mouth one after another.
It was the kind of food that, if it had fallen on the ground and been left for a day, would surely upset the stomach of anyone who wasn't a beastman.
I knew that if I was hungry, there were better and healthier options made by proper cooks.
But for some reason, I kept nibbling on that cookie.
"Are you awake?"
The next morning, after a day of the silver-haired girl never showing her face...
The red-haired girl came to my room alone.
"...What do you want?"
I had no particular feelings for this girl, but I knew my attitude was causing her frustration.
What could she possibly want, coming here alone?
As I was on guard, the red-haired girl snorted.
"It seems you're disappointed that it's me, and not Ms. Yumie. Your face says it all."
"W-What... No...!!"
I couldn't help but raise my voice as she hit the nail on the head about my inner thoughts, which I had been desperately denying.
Despite that, she raised her palm towards me.
"Come, I have something to show you."
"Huh...?"
Some kind of magic, my body was forcibly pulled out of the room.
I tried to resist, but with my weakened body from lack of proper meals, it was impossible.
"What are you doing!?"
"You're so loud. Since it's a secret from Ms. Yumie, just follow me quietly."
As she said this, the red-haired girl used her magic again, enveloping us in a thin veil.
As the sound of the ocean waves disappeared, it was probably a magic that blocked sound.
I had no idea what this girl was thinking.
Eventually, the red-haired girl brought me to the front of a cabin and spun another magic.
"(Clairvoyance)"
In that moment, I could see through the wall and into the room.
The sight that greeted me took my breath away.
The silver-haired girl, with a crutch in hand, was desperately working on her rehabilitation with a determined expression.
'Haa, haa, haa...!! Huh...!!'
'Young lady!'
With her right foot and hand impaired, maintaining balance must have been difficult.
Combined with the swaying of the ship, she easily lost her balance.
Caught by the maid, her small body was drenched in sweat, and she seemed to have reached her limit.
Still, she gritted her teeth and tried to stand up once more.
"...Actually, today's rehabilitation was supposed to be a break. Yesterday, Ms. Yumie had a fever and was bedridden."
"Is that so?"
"Yes. After all, the burns on her face have only just begun to heal; it must have taken a toll."
With a worried gaze, the red-haired child murmurs.
The silver-haired child clearly still looks like a small child.
Yet, rather than enduring painful rehabilitation, she approaches it with a fierce expression, and I was captivated by her determination.
...It's completely different from when she is with me.
"You may not know this, but Ms. Yumie's dream was to become a knight who could protect her family. However, that dream of hers was mercilessly shattered by the same people who toyed with Neithardt... and with your body."
"Ugh...!!"
The same people who made my body a test subject also destroyed hers.
Hearing that, I widened my eyes, but... it was still too early to be surprised.
"That is not all. Right now, our country is experiencing a large-scale political upheaval due to the influence left by Neithardt. It is so unstable that we do not know when civil unrest might break out."
The serious tone of the conversation made me feel like someone like me, a foreigner, shouldn't really be hearing this; it felt urgent.
Surely, she is telling me this for that child's sake.
"Ms. Yumie is set to head to Euphemia as part of the envoy to assist with her recovery, but in truth, it is more like an evacuation to escape the flames of war. Ms. Yumie must understand that as well."
A relocation to escape the flames of war.
In other words, it means she was the only one allowed to escape to safety while leaving her family behind in a dangerous place.
I understand how painful that must be.
It's precisely because I understand that... I can't grasp anything about that child even more.
"How can she smile in such a situation...? Isn't it painful...? "
Having lost dreams and the future, separated from family... even though her situation is almost the same as now, I can't believe she can still smile.
As I questioned her in confusion, the red-haired girl gritted her teeth and──struck me hard across the cheek.
"Of course it's for your sake!!"
"...Huh...?"
Why does this involve me?
As I grew increasingly confused, the red-haired girl shouted as if to unload all her pent-up frustrations onto me.
"Of course it's painful!! She lost everything she desperately worked to build, separated from her family, enduring the pain of injuries every single night, and she still have to push through such a tough rehabilitation...!! Being told that her body will never fully recover, it's only natural she wants to cry right now!!"
But, the red-haired girl grabbed me by my collar.
As if to say that those tears were what the silver-haired girl wouldn't shed, tears streamed down from her eyes.
"Even so, Ms. Yumie... because right now, the one suffering the most is you. Wishing that you can smile even a little... she was desperately trying to create 'happy memories' to share with you, without relying on anyone else on this ship!!"
"Why?" I wondered.
I was just on the same ship as that kid by chance.
She should just leave me alone and think about her own things... why go that far?
"With a body that's hard to stand on its own, making cookies desperately for you... and you...!!"
After shouting for a while, the red-haired girl let go of my hand.
Calming her ragged breathing, she wiped her flowing tears and calmly told me.
"...If you say Ms. Yumie's kindness is 'cheap sympathy,' then your desire to commit suicide is far cheaper and more ridiculous. You who are just taking advantage of Ms. Yumie's kindness have no right to deny her."
After saying all that, the red-haired girl walked away.
For the first time, I called out to her.
"Um..."
"What is it?"
"Can I ask your name?"
I already knew this kid's name.
But I... wanted to hear it from her mouth once more.
"Monica Belmont. Someday, I'll become Ms. Yumie's bride. Remember that."
"I see... I'm Thea, from the Blue Wolf clan... I'll make sure to tell her too."
"I'm sorry, but it would make Ms. Yumie happier if you could introduce yourself directly."
"Yeah, got it... I'll definitely tell her."
Seeing my reaction, the red-haired Monica left, for the first time, wearing a satisfied smile.
Along the way, she opened her mouth just once more.
"Oh, right. The soundproof barrier I set up will stay there for a little while longer... so feel free to use it."
"...Thank you."
Eventually, when Monica's presence completely disappeared... I cried my heart out within the barrier she left behind.
──I want you to live. If you die, I would be extremely sad, and I think I would cry a lot. Doesn't that give you a reason to live?
"Uu... sniff, hiccup... Waaah!!!! "
I still have someone like that.
Someone who would genuinely feel sad if I were to disappear.
Someone who would shed tears for me from the bottom of their heart.
Even someone like me... believes that I can be here because of that.
It's only now that I've finally realized this.
"Waaah!!!!"
I continued to cry on the spot until I was exhausted, letting out all the accumulated sadness.
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