Chapter 89 Shadows Of The Past, The End Of Becoming
"Regret, huh..."
"Yeah."
I felt my body temperature drop with the heavy news.
"Regret is a natural feeling for any living being with a will. There are many kinds. Among them, there's hatred, revenge, anger, and intent. Strong and intense regrets create dark shadows. More gentle regrets, like lingering feelings, loneliness, sadness, and worry, are said to create light shadows."
"Dark shadows and light shadows, huh?"
"Shadows are what give birth to beasts. So that means..."
"Yeah. Beasts are life forms that are born when shadows inhabit living beings or materials. In that sense, beasts might be the end result of the regrets left behind by people and creatures."
Beasts. Humanity's enemy. Until now, I only knew them as that, but their true nature is regret. Quollio calls it a hypothesis, but it made sense to me.
Because I thought of that singing beast.
I still didn't understand why it targeted children or why it was touching the skeleton of a little one. I never figured it out, but maybe that was the regret that started it all.
(Regrets, huh? Even Ruthless got that kinda baggage.)
(Hmm, who knows? I'm just doing what I want, so I don't really get regrets or anything. So please, no cheap sympathy, okay?)
(Not that. Just... ugh...)
(Just?)
("I thought we had somethin' in common, me and you.")
(...Hmm. I don't really get it, but being lumped together with a fool like Master is a bit much.)
(...That's harsh.)
(Just stating the obvious.)
It wasn't sympathy. But I felt a connection.
I died because of a mistake by the goddess, but if that hadn't happened, I would have definitely had strong regrets.
Whether that end result would be light or dark.
(If it were me...)
I looked up at the blue sky.
There were a few clouds, but something dark mixed in with them.
"──Um, Mr. Hiiro."
But it was Lyam who tugged at my sleeve.
Her light pink bangs swayed in the gentle breeze against her white skin.
"Please go see Ms. Shura."
"Me?"
"Yes. I think it has to be you, Mr. Hiiro."
"Even after all her drama, you still got feelings for her?"
"Honestly, I was a bit scared. But with Ms. Shura... it felt more like she was hurt than angry. So, um... I think it would be better if you went."
She was scared, but her determination shone in her eyes.
Even after being scolded by Shura, this girl, who was shorter than me, seemed more mature than I thought.
And I understood that I had to go.
I wasn't so foolish that I couldn't figure out who made her feel that way.
"Aight, suit yourself. You didn't need me tellin' ya anyway."
"...Yes. Ms. Shura is currently at a high place on the west edge of the city."
"Hmph? How you know where she is?"
"Uh... it's just a hunch! I have a really good intuition! Yes!"
"Oh, kay."
"...Hmm. I guess that's something she got from sister."
"Huh?"
"Moku, moku"
She seemed delicate but was trying to cover it up with a strong attitude, just like sisters do. Quollio seemed to agree, and Mokumon was nodding along.
But whatever, it's fine.
If it saves me some trouble, that's what matters. Right now, that's enough.
I'm too foolish to worry about anything else. I just think about her face.
"I'm fixin' to go give that mouthy little punk a beatdown. If I get sliced up, just laugh it off, yeah."
"Don't worry! Mr. Hiiro is invincible!"
"I'll prepare some medicine for you. The kind that really stings."
"Oh, Quollio, remember that later."
With that slightly off encouragement, I decided to go.
To where my rival, who was sulking, was waiting.
* * *
The high place on the west edge of Asgardam was windy compared to the flatlands.
The dry wind kept tangling in Shura's hair, but she let it be.
She couldn't find the energy to do anything, just sitting in a chair on the hill, staring down at the town.
"..."
For Shura, this place in Royal Capital wasn't somewhere she liked. In fact, she might even say she hated it.
It all started when she lost to a man, and that kicked off her days of wanting to be a knight
But every time the sun set and rose again, she just felt more disappointed in what being a knight meant. Still, she stayed here, maybe because her small pride was too stubborn to give up.
"..."
But recently, things changed. The gray town that used to look dull now felt a bit brighter.
Somehow, Shura found herself able to notice the beauty of the morning moon, even though she thought she didn't have time to stop and appreciate anything.
It was like a harmful kindness had started to color the world of the girl who was supposed to be a warrior.
"...Why is this so hard?"
So, this was a feeling she had never experienced before.
The moment she understood what Hiiro was holding in his hand, emotions she couldn't describe bubbled up inside her.
Before she knew it, she was running away.
Covering her ears. Closing her eyes. She even pushed away Sham's hand, who was worried about her.
She harshly rejected anyone who tried to follow her and left them behind. Right now, she didn't want to see anyone. She was scared that the feelings tormenting her would ignite into something worse.
"...That ring. I'm sure it was picked up at that church."
She remembered the events in the village where Hiiro had saved her. The unfamiliar ring that was on Hiiro's injured finger.
If that ring was the white beast and now it was Hiiro's weapon, then it was because of that power that they managed to survive the fight with the Banshee.
"A beast is a beast. That's fine. It should be fine, but..."
To Shura, a beast is just a beast. An enemy is an enemy. She didn't have the ability to see the white beast as anything good.
That's why she felt disgusted that it was the power of the white beast that saved her.
But more than that, she thought: she wants it to be him who saved her.
He's the one who carried her, guided her, and changed her world. She wants it to be him. If it's not him, she doesn't want it.
But she pushed it away. So she rejected it. She ran and ran.
Now, even though she didn't want to be alone, here she was.
It hurt. She had rejected everything, and now she didn't know what to do next. The thought of going back to that closed-off world made her skin crawl and her heart ache.
Eshurareze Midgard.
Now that she knew the light, she was scared of the fate of a warrior she had to carry. Like a child hugging her knees and burying her face, Shura had no choice but to shut herself away.
But.
"Hah! Ain't even close to sunset yet, daylight's still shinin' bright."
"...Huh?"
That harmful kindness, even in a closed-off world, found a way in, slipping through the cracks and biting at the coward.
"Yo. Been searchin' high and low for you, fool."
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