Volume 6 Chapter 37 A Sincere Wish
"Here's one thing, revealing your true feelings is pretty tough, isn't it? Even with close friends, it's hard to talk about certain things, and with others, you might end up speaking too freely."
"It's embarrassing to show my weaknesses to you, but... maybe that's exactly what I need to do."
──From that point on, Mikage shared with Reed everything she had been keeping inside, including the doubts she had before Rouza arrived, and the feelings she had about Yukina's growth and her own stagnation. She also talked about how Rouza's appearance had indirectly involved Yukina in her own problems.
After sharing everything, Mikage smiled weakly at Reed.
"Yukina-sama's growth is remarkable. He became a 3rd-rank mercenary in just a short time and is even being considered for a promotion to 2nd rank."
"Oh, I see. That's no surprise, given his talent."
"It's because of that, I end up feeling inferior."
Mikage had a sense of pride in having improved her own skills since meeting Yukina. However, compared to Yukina's progress, hers seemed slow. She wondered if she would eventually be left behind, unable to catch up.
"I admire Yukina-sama from the bottom of my heart. I want to fight alongside him, seeing the same things, hearing the same things, and feeling the same things."
Right now, Mikage has friends who admire the same person and can support each other, sharing their joys. However, each of them has their own areas where they surpass Yukina, and Mikage feels a sense of security in that.
But it's precisely because of that, she feels envious, as if she's the only one left behind.
"......It's come to this, and I've started to envy your simplicity."
"Is that just a roundabout way of calling me stupid?"
"Normally, that would be the case. But not now."
Both Yukina and Reed were straightforward about their desires. Although their forms were different, they were willing to risk everything for what they wanted, and that determination shone brightly――so much so that it was dazzling.
"You've really changed, Mikage. If it were the same as when we first met, you wouldn't be hesitant about something like this."
In the past, Mikage thought that as long as she had her sword, she was fine. But now, she not only wanted to dedicate her sword but also wanted to be loved as a woman.
"My brother said something similar to me too."
Mikage felt that she had changed, both for the better and for the worse.
With this sense of guilt, could she still be with Yukina and the others?
"Do I have the qualifications to be with Yukina-sama?"
This thought made her consider discarding all personal feelings and following her previous lord, Rouza, just like her brother. Even if it meant giving up her sword, wasn't it right to follow her lord's heart?
Having such thoughts made her feel a strong sense of guilt.
"...Does one need qualifications to be with someone, huh?"
Reed scratched hr head, looking puzzled. Her nonchalant muttering somehow struck a chord in Mikage's troubled heart.
"You, you think I'm simple, don't you? Honestly, I'm always thinking and acting on various things, like the team members and work. But, deep down, it's true."
──If I want something, I'll take it by force.
──If it belongs to someone else, I'll snatch it away with power.
This was Reed's way of thinking.
Mikage was appalled when she heard it again.
"...I have to ask, but how do you not get caught as a criminal? It's unbelievable."
"Ha, you're one to talk. Whether I take it or snatch it, I've always chosen my methods carefully. In the end, I often 'get away' with it, too."
Reed placed her hand on the snake belly sword at her waist. Mikage had also noticed that her sword was related to Yukina's black spear from their reactions.
And probably, Rouza's azure monk staff was connected to it as well.
"If I didn't have a mercenary job, I might've built a fortress in the mountains by now."
Reed said it lightly, but it didn't sound like a joke to Mikage. In a different era, she might've become a legendary bandits.
"But, what about me doesn't matter right now. The important thing is your roots."
"My... roots?"
"This is something you won't give up. This is a desire you absolutely can't let go of."
Reed poked Mikage's chest with her finger.
"If you're uncertain or worried, that's fine. But once your desire is set, trivial things won't bother you. At least, that's how I am."
When she gets what she wants, she'll do everything in her power to get it. Her determination never wavers when she sets her heart on something. For Reed, that's what being "greedy" means.
"It's different, but Yukina's the same way. After all, he's the kind of person who can knock my serious intentions off kilter with just one look... That's why I fell for him."
Reed said, scratching her reddened cheek in embarrassment. Mikage understood her feelings all too well. She was also one of those who had fallen for Yukina's intense way of living.
"...I――."
With an overwhelmingly powerful enemy in front of him, and no justice or profit to gain...
Even though he was wounded and beaten, he stood firm, determined to see his own will through.
He chose to stand up.
Mikage admired the figure standing tall behind him.
――She wanted to see how this "Hero" would end up.
"Ah——."
Mikage suddenly realized she was crying.
The "desire" in her heart, which had been tangled with frustration and discontent, was melting away, flowing out of her eyes like tears. The deep-seated wish she had been holding back was overflowing.
"Why... did I... forget for so long..."
Hugging her own chest, Mikage continued to cry, her voice stifled.
"It was so... simple... and yet... I'm such a fool..."
"――Looks like you've found it, huh? Your important 'desire'..."
Reed watched over Mikage, who was still crying, with a bitter smile.
――How long had she been like that?
Eventually, when the tears had dried up, Mikage opened her mouth, rubbing her red eyes.
"I showed you my ugly side."
"It's a mercenary's privilege. I'll keep this between us, okay?"
"Please do so."
Mikage briefly explained, then gripped the hilt of the sword at her waist and stood up. Her posture exuded a sense of beauty and unwavering strength. It was proof that she had an unshakeable core, both physically and mentally.
"Are you going back to Yukina's place?"
"Not yet, I have something to take care of. If you're interested, you can come with me."
Without waiting for a response, Mikage started walking, and Reed followed behind, shrugging her shoulders with a "whatever" expression. Just a little while ago, Mikage had been crying, but Reed didn't mention it, showing consideration for Mikage's feelings.
"So, where are we going?"
"To the weapon shop that Yukina-sama favors. ──I'm hoping that the thing I asked about a little while ago is still there."
Mikage's steps were now without hesitation.
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