Volume 5 Chapter 36 Whereabouts
Toxy, who had stepped out into the entrance hall, received something that looked like a bright red, stained letter.
"...Wade, this"
"Let me see it"
The seal was a dark, blood-like color, reminiscent of something I had seen somewhere before. It reminded me of the Nightfather's facility, where I had occasionally seen similar marks.
Had my whereabouts finally been discovered? But it was too late now. Thinking that, I opened it, and inside, I found a letter, a map with a circle, and an ear.
A severed ear.
"Wade, this"
"Calm down. It's unlikely that one of our members would do this. Let's read the contents first"
I unfolded the letter, which had been folded in two. The contents were simple.
'Traitors will be punished. However, if you can lead the enemy's leader, this person's life may be spared. Come alone, Wade. Your father is waiting for you.
"Protean".'
"..."
I looked at the ear. Now that I thought about it, I might have seen it before.
Damn old man. That ear.
"Wade. your father..."
Toxy pointed to the part of the letter that mentioned "traitor" and said.
"Wade, when you were defeated, I went to ask about Swallow's whereabouts, and he told me. I also unintentionally shouted 'Wade!' didn't I? That's how they found out."
"So, is that why he's a traitor?"
My old man had told Toxy about Swallow's whereabouts, and Toxy had successfully defeated Swallow. That's why he was punished as a traitor.
...to help me.
I put down the letter, then told Toxy.
"I'll go for a short walk."
"Wade, no."
"...I'm really going for a walk. I won't fall for such an obvious trap for that damn old man of mine."
When I smiled, Toxy looked troubled, pursed his lips, and said.
"Then, I'll go with you."
"...Alright."
I couldn't refuse her. So I nodded. In reality, I had never thought of helping that damn old man of mine, no matter what.
So, the two of us went out for a walk together. We didn't talk along the way. We just walked in silence, going wherever our feet took us.
Before we knew it, we arrived at my old man's house.
"Wade..."
"Just take a peek. If that letter was a lie, what's the point of doing anything, right?"
I stepped inside. At that moment, I noticed the metallic smell.
"..."
"This is a lie..."
The living room was covered in blood. My old man, who was obese and couldn't move much, had little signs of resistance. It was almost a one-sided restraint.
What was even more gruesome was the chair with several ropes tied to it. The part where he sit was the only place without bloodstains. He must have been forced to sit there and suffered a terrible fate.
I sat down in silence on that chair, then closed my eyes.
"...What's going on, Toxy? I don't understand."
I looked down, asking in a weak voice.
"What...? Wade"
"I told you, I was abused by that crappy old man."
"Yeah..."
"I've always hated him. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to remember him. If I could, I'd kill him."
"Yeah"
"But why is it like this?"
I bit my lip.
"It's only recently that I've been thinking about this. It's only my old man's happy face that comes to mind. I won't forgive him. I've been beaten and almost killed many times. I swore I'd never forgive him. But now, I'm thinking about what to do if my old man is killed."
My hands were shaking. Despite hating him, I was worried about my crappy old man's life, and tears were falling. I didn't understand myself. I thought I hated him, but why was I so scared?
"I was a rebellious son. I wasn't a good son. But recently, my old man has been kind to me. That's what I think. I think it's wrong, but I think that way."
I was shaking, unable to understand. The person I hated was on the verge of death. There shouldn't be any fear, but I was scared. I was terrified to the core, my internal organs shaking with fear.
Toxy hugged me tightly. I clung to Toxy in return.
"There's no such thing as unconditional love. My old man didn't raise me properly, just made me work."
"Yeah."
"I thought that's what it was all about, just using me. Life was tough, and he just kept exploiting me, sucking the life out of me."
"Yeah."
"But then, my old man asked me, 'Are you eating well?' It's ridiculous. It's like he really cared about me or something."
Tears started pouring out of my eyes. I had to grip Toxy's clothes tightly to somehow calm myself down.
"I don't get it. My own feelings. I should be hating him, wishing he'd die, but I'm scared. What am I supposed to do when that crappy old man dies...!"
Toxy hugged me, shaking. Then, she said.
"Wade, I understand. I know how you feel."
"Huh...?"
I looked up. Toxy buried my head deep in his chest.
"I was really sad when I lost my father too. I was in my rebellious phase, so I didn't think I liked my dad that much. But when I saw how much he was suffering because of my magic, and then he died, I felt like my whole world was crumbling."
I think, Toxy said.
"You said earlier that unconditional love doesn't exist. From parent to child. In that sense."
"Yeah..."
"But I think that's wrong. I think true unconditional love is probably from child to parent."
"Huh...?"
"Because..."
Toxy stared into my eyes.
"There are bad parents out there. I've heard stories about your father, Wade. He was a bad parent, no doubt about it. But kids can't just think, 'Oh, it doesn't matter.'"
I froze. Toxy continued passionately.
"Because you love, you hate betrayal. You resent him because you couldn't get an answer even though you love him. That's what love is. You hate him because you can't say goodbye."
Toxy then added again,
"Wade, you will definitely forgive him easily. You may hate him, but you can't think it's okay. If you're being treated kindly, you'll forgive him, and even if you hate, if something good happens to him, you'll be happy like it's your own."
Don't you remember? Toxy asked, and I recalled the time I heard my old man got a job.
―――So that's it. I had remembered even such a small thing.
"...I don't understand. But it feels like it's stuck in my head. If someone else said it, I'd ignore it, but when I heard it from my old man, it felt like it stuck."
"A parent's love isn't guaranteed. They say parents love their children, but maybe the truth is the opposite. Parents don't love us; we love them."
"..."
I fell silent, thinking about various things. Then, I said,
"Is it the same for Moruru?"
"That's right. After Moruru hatched, she noticed Wade and said something, right?"
"'Papa...'"
"Hehe... She said it so quickly. Moruru's smart, so she started talking right away. But that's how it is. Moruru loved Wade at first sight, thinking you're her parent."
I slowly began to understand. I didn't hug Moruru when I first saw her. I was excited, but before that, I was scared of the risk and controlled her with a collar.
But Moruru noticed me right away and hugged me with all her might.
"...I loved that crappy old man of mine."
"That's right. If not, you wouldn't have treated someone so carelessly."
"Haha, that's true... So that's how it was."
I hate and resent because I loved. I don't hate just anyone, and I don't resent just anyone. I just eliminate them indifferently. But I couldn't do that because my old man were my parent. I had given my old man unconditional love.
"This is a disgusting conversation. I can only laugh at this kind of thing."
"Yeah, that's right. We're in that rebellious phase, so it's only natural to feel annoyed."
I let out a deep sigh, then released Toxy's hand and stood up.
"So, what's the plan, Wade?"
"It's already decided. I'm going to help."
"Alone?"
"No way. I'll bring you along, and we'll drag Frain along too. As for the others, we'll just let them rest."
"You're still obsessed with Frain, aren't you, Wade?"
"I'm not obsessed. I just want to trouble him."
"What kind of feeling is that besides love?"
"...Maybe it's love, after all."
"Hahaha. Frain's going to make a really annoyed face."
"Yeah, probably."
We laughed together. Then, I subtly activated my second eye, Ajna Chakra, and absorbed the remaining information in the area.
I unfolded the map that came with the letter. And then, I followed the trail of Protean's presence, which had left this place. Deep in the slums. The abandoned city. It matched the mark on the map.
It seemed like the enemy had anticipated a battle and chosen a place where they could go all out. I curled up the corners of my mouth and sneered.
"Alright, let's go yell at that crappy old man, and tell him what he's making us worry."
"Yeah!"
Toxy and I took off from home.
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